Who You Living For?

As we draw to somewhat of a close to what has been for many, the most thought-provoking and belief-challenging times of our lives, with lots of time to ponder our own reflection staring back at us, I wanted to finally devote an entire song to something that happened to me, which would and does shape me as a person, and is the reason I am who I am today. 

“Who You Living For?” accompanies a set of lyrics I put together back in August last year, entitled ‘Something Spiritual in My Peripheral’. 💫

Within the space of a year, not one but two of my oldest, closest and dearest friends had to deal with the devastating effects of a life being taken too young. And it was that experience in being able to support them, through my own experiences with grief, that jolted me into remembering the exact reason I am the absolute advocate I am for living life to the fullest, and doing whatever it is that makes you happy.

The effects of being bereaved as a child will stay with me for life, and in ways has actually got more difficult as I have become a full-grown adult. But, after my parents lost their lives at the ages of 38, and 44 (on separate occasions), I have always had enmeshed within my soul the idea that life is so precious. 

It was leaving university a couple of years ago, and being thrown out into the “real world” that it hit home that I was tired of living up to other people’s expectations of me- some real, some fabricated in my head probably. I decided that if I wasn’t going to live for myself, then I owed it to my parents to live for their lives, the years that they had lost, and live like there really is no tomorrow. 

Little did I know that in doing so, it would lead my down a path whereby I know what I envision for myself more than ever, and have such an immense level of self-awareness and trust with myself, that I will try anything I put my mind too, and I’m not afraid of making mistakes.

My biggest fear is ever looking back and wishing I’d have done something, but never had the confidence to do. If you’re currently not living for yourself, or there’s something you really wish you could try, then do it with the encouragement of the spiritual universe over your shoulder. 

In times like these, where we are caught in a tidal wave of collective grief with regard to the current pandemic, I wanted to emphasise the possibility and importance of turning sadness into future strength. It is our waking responsibility, and duty to the legacy of lives we know that have been lost too young, that we make every second on this Earth count.

If it’s not for yourself, then who are you living for? And make sure the answer, if it isn’t yourself, is someone that is worthy of your dedication. Not a bad job, toxic partner, or pressure from peers… 

I believe my experiences have endowed me with a great gift of being able to give other people advice and support from the heart, and so many people are capable of more if they just believe in themselves more. 

Singing my own songs on YouTube when I was 16, I was too scared to share them to a wider audience. So they remained unheard. But I think there is much more common ground between people, when we’re honest. My yearbook comment at 18 referenced my singing/songwriting, but I was still too afraid. I’m beyond glad that I was able to shake off that fear a couple of years ago, and finally share music like I had always wanted to.

You are special, and time on this Earth is fragile. When you start living with more truth, the energy around you both in the spiritual and physical world responds and will cushions you if and when you fall. So there’s no excuse not to make it count 😊✨

Lyrics

Ooooooooh
Mmmmmmmmmm

We walk this life I know
Most of us will tip-toe until we die
Tell me, is that what we're living for?
I've got three lives inside
One for my Mother
One for my Father
And one for me
That is who I'm living for

Who you living for?
You living for...?
As time goes on
I sing their song
More and more and more and more and more and more
Mmmmmmm

I've learnt how to resolve
Times get hard
But then the love explodes
What are you really hiding from?
I heard that Old Town Road
Took to the wheel
And said "No one can touch me"
I'm alive when I feel my most free

At night, we try
But we'd rather die than live for someone else
Someone else's holidays and dreams
At night, we try
But we'd rather die than live for someone else,
I said someone else's cogs in their machine

I know, you know
You've lost someone you could live for
So when you're down and sad
They're there by your shoulder

Who you living for?
You living for...?
And as time goes on
I sing their song
So whose song are you singin'?
Whose love, are you bringing...

Angael x